I believe in tequila. That's bigger than just liking the taste or appreciating the unique features of the drink. There's something downright spiritual about the finest application of the agave plant. As much as I respect the honest camaraderie of whiskey and trust the conversational chemistry of vodka, as much as I love the romantic devotion of good wine and the unpretentious company of beer, tequila is the only drink that has ever felt downright religious to me. That's why I don't feel particularly broken up about my current lack of tequila on Cinco de Mayo, it's unofficial saint's day. Today, I don't need tequila, I don't feel compelled to consume it. I've had enough days when the certainty of tequila was necessary that I've stopped looking at it as a party libation or a pain delivery device. Tequila is sacred stuff and just like everything else holy in this world, it has been besmirched and co-opted for nefarious ends.

I've already written volumes about my distaste for absurd concoctions like the Margarita as well as my belief that tequila shouldn't be taken in shots, so I won't repeat myself in that regard. Instead, I'll talk about the spiritual urgency of those days devoted to tequila. And yes, tequila does deserve an all-day affair. It's the only way to feel the full depth of the drink. One glass at the beginning of the night or as a pair with a meal may be the way most measures of tequila are consumed and I'm not necessarily above that behavior, but I've also said Hebrew prayers in passing rather than standing for an entire sabbath service. Any self-respecting lush will tell you that real tequila days start in the morning.

This isn't to say that one should drink tequila before noon. That's the kind of thing a drunk would do and we're not concerned with careless, irreligious drinkers like that. No, tequila days start in the morning because that's the closest we ever get to our dreams. A real tequila day is one in which you wake up and know that you must drink today, that some silent issue running free in your subconscious needs to be addressed today. Some people exorcise those issues on long runs or by wailing on a guitar, but that's not who we are, readers. The lush knows that daily inhibitions and routines keep us from really thinking. That's why we grab hold of our slow depressant and ride it until the work's done.

Tequila is ideal for the slow, steady drinking day. It won't tell you to stop like vodka will and it won't punish you for lingering like whiskey will. And gin? Gin's a bastard who doesn't give a damn about your feelings. Love gin, but don't trust it for a single second. Tequila is here for you today, one ounce every half hour with a meal and/or a mild beer in between. Nurse your tequila and never lose sight of your bottle. Don't have another drink when you start to feel sick but don't call it quits until you're thoroughly saturated. Let that warm4, golden spirit seep into your bones and for your own sake, never stop thinking. Remember, today you're drinking tequila because you've got some business to take care of in your sopping soul. Don't waste this drunk on jokes and parties.

You may only have a handful of tequila days in your entire life, but that's about par for the course when it comes to profound experiences. When some dream of today's anxieties or yesterday's lost loves comes to haunt, take the day if you can and have some twelve hours of devotion. The patron spirit of the abused and misunderstood will give your thoughts the right kind of fuel to fight until the knots are all worked out.