The Good Patron

The Good Patron

It always bugs me to see someone at a proper bar who lacks for manners. It's one thing to act the ass at some horrible after-work bar that lives and dies by its jalapeno poppers, but if you're anywhere that traffics in decent-to-great cocktails, wine or even craft beer, there's definitely a code of etiquette. Follow these simple examples to make sure you're earning the adult privilege of alcohol.

The Good Patron... only takes a table when s/he's already with a party.

The Bad Patron... plants a flag in prime seating in anticipation of friends yet to arrive.

This one is all too common. Personally, I blame restaurants for this table-camping nonsense. People have become accustomed to being seated regardless of whether their party is actually on time. In a bar, this is unacceptable for a number of reasons. First, you're making things harder on other patrons who would otherwise have the seats you've claimed, which in turn jeopardizes the bar's nightly revenue. Second, you're monopolizing the barback. Bar servers are best utilized for larger parties to take the pressure off the bartender, not to be at the beck and call of the guy in the corner. This is especially true considering how particular people can be about their drinks. If your drink comes to you wrong after playing telephone across the lounge when there's a perfectly good stool two feet from the bartender, it's your own fault.

 

The Good Patron... tips generously at all times and adds to that for exemplary service.

The Bad Patron... thinks one dollar per drink is fair.

Look, the "buck a glass" thing may cut it at whatever Bud-Lite-slinging dive you frequented in the suburb where you grew up, but if you're at a proper bar that makes proper drinks, there's no reason to tip your bartender any less than you would a restaurant server. There's certainly no difference in base pay between the two but there's a big discrepancy in talent. True bartenders are skilled artisans who craft your drinks according to your specific tastes. 20% is standard, but if you get an especially clever cocktail or above-and-beyond service, it's only proper to compensate for the attention with an extra few percent.

 

The Good Patron... knows when it's time to order coffee, drink water and/or go home.

The Bad Patron... gets drunk with impunity.

Let's get something straight that few people seem to understand: Just because a bar serves alcohol doesn't mean it's okay to get drunk at one. Now, when I say "drunk" I mean really and truly soused. A decent buzz or a warm sway isn't drunk any more than dating for six months equals married. Getting sloppy in public isn't acceptable and it makes life harder for everyone else in the bar, patron and staff alike. Remember, alcohol is an indulgence and a privilege. Be responsible. If you must get drunk, do it somewhere private.