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Bikini Baristas

In the old days, someone like Mr. Roper on Three's Company was forced to either go to beach himself (which I don't really recall him ever doing) or to get out his trusty binoculars to spy on girls in their bikinis. Fortunately for a lot of people in the Pacific Northwest, men don't have to go anywhere but their local espresso stand (for the price of about 4 or 5 dollars) to see a young hottie with a bodacious bod in her bikini or lingerie serving up cappuccinos. Some earnest young Tacoma man has even started his own blog devoted only to these prime girls in their bikinis, publishing locations and pictures of the stands and sometimes even the girls themselves. (actually taking photos of the girls is frowned upon)

In Seattle, on Aurora, which is home to more than one strip club and has the dubious distinction of being the prostitution strip in the neighborhood, I doubt anyone is complaining about the stands ruining the hood. I mean, seriously, Chica Latte, one fine coffee stand is located right next to a strip joint. I wonder if some of the girls work in both places. As far as I know, there are no lap dances at the Bikini Barista coffee stands and very few of the girls, if any, seem to be above the age of 20. While they do risk spilling coffee on themselves, the tips from customers to girls in bikinis are reportedly larger than the average coffee stand. Some customers even buy more cups of coffee.

The biggest complainers about this style of coffee stand are conservatives, the religious right, moms, and not surprisingly, other coffee stand owners who claim that the bikini baristas are taking away all of their business. It also is largely dependent on the neighborhood, too. Moms tend to want to protect their children from this sort of thing. (although how this is different from a bikini car wash I am not exactly sure).

I recommended a friend of mine open up a similar establishment in Milwaukee, WI, which I think would spur a coffee revolution in a town better known for beer than coffee. I failed to consider the fact that Milwaukee is one of the coldest places in the United States. It would be better for nipple action, but I think the frost-bite and hypothermia risks would unfortunately outweigh the gains.

If I had the gumption, I would put up a similar coffee stand up in town, but with men serving the coffee. My target customer would not necessarily be a typical female like myself, but more likely a gay male and the stand would be located in an area such as Capitol Hill in Seattle, which is notable for being a gay-friendly area in Seattle.