The Lush Chronicles: The Philosophy of the Flask
It's the holiday season. We're in the thick of it now. Big meals, annoying music, people pretending that Black Friday means anything in the Internet age. Oh, and family events. Some folks who have all the luck actually like their families. Even rarer are those freaks of nature who have a strong bond with the collection of obligated strangers they call extended family. For the rest of the world, the holiday season is a time when we're forced by guilt and convention to interact with people we'd rather not even know, and just because we share a little more DNA with them than with most people. There are only two kinds of people who go through this ordeal sober: Insane, masochistic adults and put-upon children. All the savvy folks stay properly lubricated through whatever shitty shindig they're forced to attend. That's why people hide hard liquor in ridiculous drinks like eggnog. It's not self-medication and drinking during the few hours of sunlight we get in the harsh winter months, it's festive. For those who would rather not choke down something that tastes and sounds as disgusting as "nog" and are sensitive to the disapproving stares of the family as Uncle Jake pours his fifth whiskey rocks in two hours, there's just one option left. It's time to start packing a flask.
